What's My Number?

During this Lent season, I have been fasting from weighing myself everyday.  It might not sound like something to fast from, but for me, the number that I saw every morning determined my mood, how I felt about myself, my identity for that day.

I didn't realize it until one Sunday morning, everyone woke up cheerful and happy, myself included.  Then I stepped on the scale, and I was up a few pounds due to the heavenly margarita, buffalo wings, popcorn and coke the night before.  I finally realized, after my mood plummeted and I became angry and discouraged, that the number I saw on that scale became who I was.  I was no longer a prized daughter of my King.  I was no longer the loved wife of my husband, or the Mommy to my blessings.  I was a number.  And if it didn't fall below a line I had set, I punished myself.

I know that's not what my Father wants for me.

So, I weigh once a week.  ONCE.  In my journey in this weight-loss, I have weighed everyday for a year.

I love the freedom it has brought back to me.   I am trying to focus on my true identity, which is a journey God has had me on for over 8 years.  Now I feel like I have another piece of the puzzle.

And it's not a number.